My dear readers. We are faced with a great challenge. There are forces of evil in this world that would like nothing better than to see us descend into darkness and chaos. These forces are real, and they will not rest. You may think you are safe, but this is false comfort provided by the lies spread in the media.
What are these forces of evil? In the past they have been the evil pagan beliefs of witchcraft and wizardry. The proponents of these evil forces would have you think it is okay for our children to practice their soul corrupting ways. For many years we only had to worry about “magik” but now we have a new enemy: Vampyres and werewolves. Our young girls have become corrupted by the magical charm of these vampyres and werewolves.
Our battle is now being fought on two fronts, and we must remain vigilant! That is why we must support the Salvation Army in its mission to destroy Harry Potter and Twilight toys.
O.K. I’m done. This is another stupid thing people are doing. People need to chill out. And besides, Harry Potter is 1000x better than that Twilight crap. I sat through one of those movies on an airplane once and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever forced myself to do. Maybe the Twilight toys should be disposed of.