Republicans Discover Internet, and We Thank Them

Because the result is funny as hell! Say hello to America Speaking Out. This is where you can make suggestions and vote them up or down. There are several categories, such as “American Values,” “National Security,” and an “Open Mic” section, where I’m guessing we can hear bad cover versions of country songs. Read some of the comments. Trying to figure out which ones are real and which ones are Poes will be the most difficult thing you will do today. Like this one:

I propose a constitutional amendment that solidifies the fact that America is a Christian Nation to counteract the liberals assertation that it is not.

Or this one:

All public school students should be required by law to spend a summer working at an abortion mill. If they saw how horrible these places are, they wouldn’t grow up to be crazy pro-abortionists. Private school students wouldn’t have to do it, though — they’re obviously learning about the sanctity of life during class time. I suppose you could also exempt pro-life students in public schools (if there even are any — maybe their parents are poor or hippies or something), or, better yet, let them spend the summer working at an abortion alternatives counseling center where they can do some good.

Or this one:

Why isn’t Jesus on our money? He is the whole basis of our government and should be celebrated as the great teacher he is. Get rid of all the radical liberals currently disgracing our money like FDR, Lincoln, and Jefferson.

One more:

Technological advances need to be stopped. We are headed towards the singularity, and then technology is going to take us over. Soon we will have computers that can think for themselves, and will be enslaving us. This can not be allowed to happen to our children, so we must stop it before it can begin.

I really could just post hundreds of these. It is worth checking out. Republicans seem to think that the internet is new, and are acting like high school girls. From the WaPo:

Lest you think Republicans are just discovering the Internet, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (Wash.) let it be known that “House Republicans have tweeted five times as many as the House Democrats. Leader Boehner has almost five times as many Facebook fans as Speaker Pelosi.” Boehner grinned and gave a double thumbs-up.

Rep. Mike Pence (Ind.) contributed to the discussion by twice giving out the wrong address for the new site.

LOLz

I’m just glad they missed MySpace. I’m not sure the internet could handle the loud backgrounds and stupid MySpace songs they would probably put up. They seem to be one step away from blogging though, and I sure that will be very entertaining. Oh! What about if they get Tumblrs!!! Micro-blogging meets social networking meets far right conservatives! Endless fun.

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