Apparently there is an email going around Wall Street. Its logic is fuzzy. The kind of fuzzy that you get when you leave something in the refrigerator and then a few months later you open it and it has green and yellow hairs growing on it and it looks like whatever is living there might be developing agriculture. So, very fuzzy.

We are Wall Street. It’s our job to make money. Whether it’s a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn’t matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. I didn’t hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone’s 401k doubled every 3 years. Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose. I’ve never heard of anyone going to Gamblers Anonymous because they won too much in Vegas.

Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat, the government and the average Joes are still looking for a scapegoat. God knows there has to be one for everything. Well, here we are.

And just like gambling there is a system set up so that a small percentage of people (the house) are guaranteed to make a profit from the suckers that blow their money on it. In this analogy the email is written by the house.

Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you’re only going to hurt yourselves. What’s going to happen when we can’t find jobs on the Street anymore? Guess what: We’re going to take yours. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We’re used to not getting up to pee when we have a position. We don’t take an hour or more for a lunch break. We don’t demand a union. We don’t retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we kill, and when the only thing left to eat is on your dinner plates, we’ll eat that.

Yes, because all these folks on Wall Street know how to operate heavy machinery. They will wait tables. They will clean our bathrooms. They know the in’s and out’s of government contracting. They can program computers, do graphic design, edit video, and are all electrical engineers. You are well versed in the scientific method, know quantum physics, how to design buildings that can survive earthquakes. Right. They are going to take my job where I make under $50,000 a year formatting documents.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping? We’re going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America. Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I’ll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

Yes, I do think you are incapable of doing these things. You are so used to working with complex financial mechanisms I doubt you will be able to put things like history, math, and science into terms a third grader will understand.

And fuck you for bashing teachers. They are underpaid. A good teacher might be one of the best managers in the world, especially if they are dealing with third graders all day.

Also, you probably won’t have much of an office, probably a 6×8 room that you share with someone else. My cubicle is bigger than that, and I doubt you want my job.

So now that we’re going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we’re going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren’t going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We’re going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

When are you going to be doing these things? I thought you were working until 10pm every night? Your money is not my money. Do you guys have dinner every night in a new city? I take it you guys go to a lot of rural diners and surprise the waitress with a 35 percent tip on a $10 meal. Good for you.

The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it’s really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

We aren’t dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Main Sstreet our food supply…will he? and will they?

We know how vicious you are, you stole our money  and then stole more of our money when we, Main Street,  kept you in your job. Yes, you probably will survive. Yes, your asses are fat.

What I smell is fear. Fear of change. Fear of something new, something you don’t know. And what do you do? You threaten the people who gave you your money, who trusted you with it, the money you used to make a nice big profit for yourselves. So go ahead, keep threatening us. Then you will see how hard we can bite back.

I can already taste your blood. Delicious.

This entry was posted in Fiscal Policy, Humor, Liars, WTF and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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