Oh man, this actually happened!
Have you heard of Boobquake? It was a Facebook event on Monday in which women exposed their cleavage in response to an Iranian cleric, who stated that the string of global earthquakes has been caused by women revealing too much of their bodies.
So what did our snarky Western feminists cause with their Boobquake? ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE – in Taiwan.
Women may hold up half the sky, but their boobs wedge the ground in. So when these errant boobs get all flippy-floppy in the open, PEOPLE DIE.
Err, or it was a coincidence and earthquakes have been happening since the Earth’s crust formed during cooling, so are probably not dependent on exposing human mammary glands to the public. Probably.
The best way to test this would be to provoke a stronger response from the Earth, by simply having the women go around topless for a day. We need a larger sample size.
NOTE FROM GEORGE: Check out this table from the USGS. Earthquakes are really common, about three happen every hour worldwide. Isn’t geology fun!