First, watch this (contains NSFW language):  

Because I am feeling goofy, I think I will explain how the things in this song are not miracles.  


1 : an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
2 : an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment
3 Christian Science : a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law  

Now that we have a definition, lets dive in to these lyrics!  

If magic is all we’ve ever know
Then it’s easy to miss what really goes on
But I’ve seen miracles in every way
And I see miracles everyday
Oceans spanning beyond my sight  

Oceans. Yes, they are big. Did you know that we now think most of the water on earth arrived from comets? It’s only one theory, and it might not be the right one, but it is the coolest theory. Earth was showered with comets, and comets being ice balls flying through space their water was left on earth as they evaporated in Earth’s atmosphere.  

And a million stars way above me at night
We don’t have to be high to look in the sky
And know that’s a miracle opened wide  



I could give an entire lecture on astronomy right now, but I won’t. Stars are basically giant balls of hydrogen and helium that have compressed themselves so much that their cores are nuclear reactors. They glow, and there are lots of them. The universe is mind numbingly big, but it’s not so complex that we can’t figure it out. And the number one million, I’m not sure where that’s from, probably just made up. We can only see a few thousand stars at night with our unaided eyes. There are over 30 sextillion stars in the universe. That is 3 with 22 zeros at the end. We know how they form, how they live, and how they die.  

Look at the mountains, trees, the seven seas
And everything chilling underwater, please  

Mountains are formed by plate tectonics. The earth’s crust is floating on the molten core, and it can move. It is composed of several plates that move independently of each other. When they slam into each other the make mountains. This is happening right now in the Tibetan Plateau. It was this process that caused the recent earthquake in China.  

Trees? Really? They start as seeds, they grow real big, then they die. They also produce more seeds.  

And we kind of covered the seven seas. A combination of a lot of water and plate tectonics gives you oceans.  

Hot lava, snow, rain and fog  

Lava: See plate tectonics. I’m going to preemptively cover volcanos too. All caused by the earth’s plates shifting.  

Rain, snow, and fog are the sameish thing. Rain and show are caused when whater evaporates, condensed into clouds, then falls back to earth. Snow = frozen rain. Freezing rain is also frozen rain. Fog is when moisture evaporate off the ground and kind of stays put instead of evaporating all the way up to the sky. think clouds on the surface of earth.  

Long neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs  

…I guess they ran out of things quickly. Cats and dogs are domesticated animals, like cows and sheep. Initially bred to help us hunt. Well, dogs at least. I’m not sure of the purpose of cats, but I’m not a cat person.  

And I’ve seen eighty-five thousand people
All in one room, together as equals
Pure magic is the birth of my kids
I’ve seen shit that’ll shock your eyelids  

My eyelids need a good shock, but I’ll only let you do it because I have already seen 85,000 people in one room. Technically it was a stadium. I would like to see a room that can fit 85,000 people, that would be cool, not a miracle though.  

I wouldn’t say the birth of your kids is magic. It’s biology. It is what we do, and we do it well (enough).  

The sun and the moon, and even Mars
The Milky Way and fucking shooting stars  

The Sun is a star.  

The moon was probably another planet that hit earth about 4 billion years ago.  

Mars, as rad as it is, is not a miracle. It formed the same way Earth did; a bunch of dust clumped together until it was big enough to clear its orbit, becoming a planet.  

UFOs, a river flows  

No evidence that UFOs are real. Rivers do in fact flow.  

Niagara falls and the pyramids  

Pyramids built by the ancient Egyptians. Niagara Falls is what happens when a lot of water meets a cliff.  

Everything you believed in as kids
Fucking rainbows after it rains
There’s enough miracles here to blow your brains  

Rainbows are caused by light refracting off of droplets of water in the air, splitting the light into its individual wavelengths.  

I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay
It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away
And music is magic, pure and clean
You can feel it and hear it but it can’t be seen  

I would like to hear the story behind this. How did a pelican almost eat your cell phone?  

Music is all magic
(Are you a believer in miracles)
You can’t even hold it
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)
It’s just there in the air
(Are you a believer in miracles)
Pure motherfucking magic
This shit’ll blow your fucking mind
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)  

Chorus. It’s a miracle I made it this far.  

Music is a lot like love, it’s all a feeling
And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling
I see miracles all around me
Stop and look around, it’s all astounding
Water, fire, air and dirt
Fucking magnets, how do they work?  

Water is, well, water. One hydrogen atom, and two oxygen atoms. Fire is a product of chemical reactions. It’s cool that we can see it happen. As these reactions occur they emit light waves.  

Magnets are just witchcraft and wizardry.  

And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist
Y’all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed  

I’m not a scientist.  

Solar eclipse, and vicious weather  

Solar eclipse: When the moon passes in front of the sun.  

Fifteen thousand Juggalos together
And I love my mom for giving me this
Time on this planet, taking nothing for granted  

I thought it was 85,000? But I agree with the last two lines. It’s a shame your fans are nuts and kill people, taking their time on this planet away from them. Assholes.  

I seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly
Miracles ain’t nothing to lie
Shaggy’s little boys look just like Shaggy
And my little boy looks just like daddy  

Biology again. Reproduction and the cycle of life. Genetics.  

Miracles each and every where you look
And nobody has to stay where they put
This world is yours for you to explore
There’s nothing but miracles beyond your door
The Dark Carnival is your invitation
To witness that without explanation
Take a look at this fine creation
And enjoy it better with appreciation
Crows, ghosts, the midnight coast  

Crows. Now there is a miracle. Caw! Caw!  

No evidence that ghosts exist.  

My point: Science! is cool. The world is cool. Be amazed not only at the awesome wonders that surround us, but at the fact that we can understand them.

This entry was posted in Humor, Media, Science, Uncategorized, WTF. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Miracles

  1. Mike says:

    This is a very controversial topic but alot of people (MOST PEOPLE) take the words the wrong way. Yes, we understand how things work but the song focuses more on the how did this come to be. How are we blessed with all of these things that most don’t take time to appreciate? It’s not about the logic behind things. Yes we know how, for exapmle: a butterfly is “developed” but does no one see the beauty in the fact that it’s all nature’s ability.

    I could go on and on. Bottom line is this: most people are closed minded and don’t see that there are forces out there beyond anything we could fathom. Scientists don’t take the time to see that there is more to life than having to have an answer for everything.

    Perhaps if the song were called “wonders”, people would not be so negative about the meaning to the song.

  2. Austin says:

    I think the science focuses on how these things came to be, specifically because scientists didn’t know and took the time to find answers. Just because you can explain something, removing the sense of divine intervention and miracles, doesn’t mean that it isn’t still awesome or beautiful. Most astronomers find planetary objects quite beautiful, but don’t attribute their existence to a miracle. Experiencing life is the default for all humanity. We’re not blessed with it, it’s more of a self-referencing loop, but we definitely should appreciate it and make the most of it. In a way, removing a creator from the equation makes living that much more important, and by the song’s own parameters, more wondrous.

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