If you want to get drunk fast, just insert alcohol up your anus. (DON’T DO THIS EITHER). Please just sip vodka like humans. Just think What Would an Idiot Do, and try not to do that thing.
Other reasons this is bad:
- You will destroy your eyes.
Jesus Christ College Students, Don’t Pour Vodka in Your Eyes!
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dcskeptic
George
AMo
Alexis.ThisIsMyCV.Acuna
thingsareclear
DC Skeptics 
I heard that there were some women who would soak a tampon in vodka and absorb it that way, claiming it keeps the alcohol off their breath. Needless to say I don’t think I’ll be trying that…. good old sipping is just fine with me.